Getting closer…

We are so close to the end of 2008 I can taste it.  This year was so hard on us, so hard on a lot of people I know.  Friends facing foreclosures, auto repos, credit card delinquency.  It seems like we are going to pull out of this, and I can’t think of any other reason than God putting his arms around us and carrying us through the toughest year I think we have ever had to face as a married couple.

On December 31, 2007 K-hubby was laid off from his job, and sat at home for four months trying to find a way to get back into the workforce, get through his depression, and start making his way again.  I feel for any person that has gone through this because he was not the man I married.  He was a shell of himself, wandering around the house like a ghost.  We had to take money out of his retirement, and it still wasn’t enough.  He finally started working again, but it was second shift all the way in South Philly.  I never saw him and it was starting to feel like I was raising K-baby on my own.  When the stove broke, I had to find a way to fix it.  When Cocoa passed away (Cocoa was my cat.  Told you it was a bad year), I had to grieve alone, and try not to wake the baby.  We fought a flea infestation like I have never seen before.  Bills fell further and further behind. 

Still, there were small miracles.  When I recieved a repo notice for my truck, K-hubby got an extra paycheck.  When it seemed like our cards were going to charge off, he got a better job, close to home, with all the overtime he wanted to work.  When I thought my truck was going to run out of gas and the small car broke down, the gas prices dropped.  When I knew we couldn’t make rent and buy groceries, our landlord let us pay the rent in two checks, broken up through the month.  K-baby didn’t get sick.  Not once.  There were no extra medical bills, besides the stitches and prescriptions that come along with having a heavy equipment mechanic for a husband.  When I decided our marriage was over, hubby woke up and is still trying to get back to the man he was.

I guess I need to post this today because things have been getting a little weird around the house.  I am terrified that I will open the bank account and it will be overdraft, K-hubby has been really moody, and we are just at each others’ throats right now.  I couldn’t figure out why until K-hubby pointed out that we were coming up on the one-year anniversary of our lives being permanently changed, and our Puritan hardworking values being torn down and the hard work that it has taken to build them back up.  We lived so many years figuring that if we worked hard and we were honest and direct that we would be the last ones standing.  This year has proven to us that there is no such comfort, but it has also shown us that we can still power through the hard times, wallow in shit and come out smelling like a rose.


3 comments on “Getting closer…

  1. Tim Stotler says:

    I am with you. This has been an amazing year for us as well. 20 years of marriage, and I believe this has been the most pressing year on several fronts. I am praying for you all. Take time to be together, and reconnect often as a couple. It is improtant that you stick it out and stick it out together. Peace

  2. Rachel says:

    I hear ya on rough year. It’s been an extreamly rough year for me, but hopefully 2009 will be better.

  3. Ruth Spears says:

    I know what you’re saying. I started out this year by breaking my leg and it just went downhill from there. Business dropped off, income diminished, we used our credit cards (wrong answer) and we’re not sure what we will have to do next. The good thing is that it seems to have drawn my husband and I closer. Maybe facing this downturn together and realizing we have no support except each other was good for us.

    I hope things take a better turn for you. Try to look on the bright side–I know, that’s hard to do and I get a lot of grief from everyone when I say that–but it’s true. Sometimes the only bright thing is the sun but….it could be cloudy! Sort of Pollyanna, I know, and sometimes I cry when I’m trying to do it, but it helps. After all, the alternative is to lousy circumstances is if you’re dead and have NO circumstances.

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