There’s a lot I could show you.

I could show you pictures of the birthday boy devouring a chocolate cake, decorated like Thomas the Tank Engine.  (By the way, now he sings “Happy Birthday to You!” all day long.  I don’t have the heart to tell him that you only get one birthday a year.)

I could show you the 20 pounds of tomatoes that were given to us by a friend.

I could show you my current knitting and spinning projects.  I have a real problem here.  I have a sweater to block, 4 ozs of merino to spin, a baby jacket, and two pairs of socks.  And that’s only the upper strata of my cast-on fever.  There is lots to accomplish.  I keep hoping that I will enter a “completion phase” in my knitting soon. 

The reason I cannot show you any of this is because my good computer is, once again, defunct.  The old computer doesn’t read my memory card and I cannot find the cord to the camera.  (Why do I keep calling this piece of crap the good computer?  Because it cost about a grand more than the old computer, that’s why.)

Anyway, this weekend I’ll be canning tomatoes at 4 in the morning so we don’t die from the heat, knitting a baby jacket, and finishing as much of the socks as possible.  Hopefully by the time I enter the next layer in my works in progress I’ll be able to post some pics.

The calm before the storm.

I’m sitting in my basement, alone, drinking a beer and smoking a cigarette.  For those of you that may be concerned about my moral fortitude considering the two vices I am indulging right now, rest assured that I am watching Little House on the Prairie to balance things out.

Sunday is Stephen’s birthday party.  He’s turning two, and not only am I surprised that the Birth Center didn’t say oh man we are making a huge mistake sending a baby home with this one, but I have managed to keep him alive, fed and clothed for two whole years!  I have the party decorations, favors for the kids, fixings for potato and macaroni salads, and Sunday morning free to buy the balloons, pick up the cake, and finish up decorating.  Wouldn’t you just know that it’s supposed to be in the 90’s with close to 100% humidity?  There goes the sidewalk chalk and the blowing bubbles.  Too hot!  If you have never been to Delaware in the summer you should know that it is miserable.  I know professors that teach at the university that say they can tell when they’re in Delaware because their noses lock up tight.  It’s amazing, really.  You would think that weather would hold no regard for state lines, but here in Delaware we suffer.  There is just something about this state that is unlike any other state in the Union.  Strange.

I think I have everything together, but I can’t be sure.  There’s bound to be some disaster, some missed deadline, some person showing up that we didn’t count on.  I’m just trying to take these last few minutes and soak up the peace.  Also, rest assured that there will be a nice bottle of wine chilling in the fridge for the moment the last child goes home, and mine is asleep in bed.

Tardy to the Party.

I have about 4,500 messages in my inbox.  That’s not an exaggeration.  It’s a real number.

I don’t know what’s going on with Facebook, Ravelry, or my friends’ blogs.

I’ve been cut off. 

My goal is to get up a little earlier every day and get down to the computer in the morning, because I can’t seem to get here after work.  I’m going to catch up on e-mails a little at a time, I’m going to blog at least once a week, and I’m really going to get back to my Bravo buddies on Ravelry. 

See you soon!

So bad at math it hurts.

I know 16 ozs is one pound.  I am aware of measurements and weights.  Sometimes, though, my math just lets me down.

As I mentioned on Friday, I am spinning 4-4 0z projects for the Tour de Fleece.  I am NOT spinning two pounds of fiber.  I am only spinning one pound of fiber.  It is rather sad that I didn’t realize my error until Sunday morning when my father asked me how close I was to my goal.  Sigh.

I have spun and plied 2 ozs of my goal.  I have spun an additional ounce into a singles (yes, it’s supposed to end in an “s,” just don’t ask me why), and I have spun about another 1/2 ounce into a singles.  Once that ounce is done, then I will ply those two ounces and I will have 4 ounces done!  I am hoping to get all that done this evening, because I did not spin at all on Monday.  Also, my computer is fixed and I can post pictures!  Soon, soon!

I went to the dentist on Monday, for the first time in seven years.  No, really, seven years.  No bad math there, just a serious dentist phobia.  The last time I went I was told I had three cavities in this one tooth near the back, so instead of getting fillings, I decided to never go back and hope the problem would just disappear.  Smart, right?  Shockingly, it wasn’t that tooth that finally drove me back into the arms of my dental hygenist.  It was a strange black discoloration around my bottom front teeth.  Freaked my shit out completely.  I figured I had waited too long and now I was going to lose all those teeth, end up with a partial plate, and a little glass of Efferdent on my bedside table.  I went to a different dentist, mostly from shame, but also because I knew I was going to need a really good hygenist to get me through this cleaning.  My BFF Barb gave me her dentist info, and they were amazing!  It took an hour and fifteen minutes to get my teeth cleaned, but when they were done they looked brand new.  They told me the discoloration was tartar, and that’s what happens when you’re a big baby and don’t get your teeth cleaned.  Oh, and the cavities?  I DON’T HAVE ANY.  For reals.  Now, listen, I did pray to God and Jesus to heal my gums so I didn’t have to live my life with false teeth, do you think that could have done it?  Or maybe the other dentist is a big fat fraud?  You decide.

Getting Ready.

The weekend approaches.  As I sit here at my desk, listening to His High Holiness Joe Cocker, I keep wracking my brain for things that I must be forgetting to do. 

Fishbowl?  Check.

Laundry?  Check.

Fiber selection for Tour de Fleece?  Check

What’s that, you ask?  Well, it’s only the most prominent international spinning competition out there.  The idea is to spin during the Tour de France.  You’re supposed to set your goals, prepare the fiber, and when the race starts, spin, spin, spin!  I have decided to spin a 4 oz braid from Yarn Love, a 4 oz braid from Into the Whirled, a 4 oz braid from Crown Mountain Farms, and a 4 oz sampler pack of Wensleydale, for a grand total of 16 ozs of fiber.  Yup, two pounds.

Now, listen.  I am aware that it typically takes me a year or more to spin 4 oz, but I’m gonna do it this time!  I’m serious!  It’s gonna get done!

My computer is all kinds of screwed up, so we’re using the old one.  It doesn’t have a slot for my camera’s memory card, and I can’t find my camera cord, but I will find a way to get some pictures on here, promise!

Have a happy 4th!  I will be at the beach with my family!

Just so you know.

I have almost finished my current sweater, Mr. Greenjeans.  I have 4 pattern repeats on the left sleeve, 2 pattern repeats on the right sleeve, and a button band.

I have to knit Monkey socks for my friend Jen, who gave me a swift.

I am in a race to finish the Hey Teach sweater before my friend Barb.

I am participating in a knit-along for the Annette sweater in the most recent issue of Knitty.

What am I thinking?

Insert Title Here.

I am teaching my friend Barb how to blog tonight, so everyone be a sport and visit her new site.  Say hello and play nice.  I’m watching you!

Are you kidding me with this?

Fridays are supposed to be happy days, yes?  Everyone’s supposed to be in some great mood because it’s the end of the work week, hallelujah, we all get a couple days off, right?

I start off running late.  Then I get into it with Steve.  Then Stephen spills a whole big bag of goldfish crackers on the kitchen floor.  Then I feel like a tremendous shithead for yelling at him while he sobs, “Sorry, Mommy, sorry!”  Then everyone on the highway freaks out because of this terrifying water falling from the sky!  Someone get the wise-woman of the tribe, maybe she can understand what this must portend!  Then I fight with Steve a little bit more on the cell phone.  Then I’m ten minutes late to work.  Then this woman who sits next to me decides to walk to the cafe with me when I just want to be left alone.  Now (as in, right this second), she’s complaining about the work she has to do to get the job done right.  She’s looking at me typing like mad to get this post done in my break time and she doesn’t care.  SIGH.

After eating a big bowl of homefries and drinking a big mug of coffee I do feel better, thanks for asking, but I could use a little more java.  Run and get that for me, would you?

We decided last night to convert the crib to a toddler bed when Stephen tried to climb out and lost his grip, hitting his face on the railing, then later he tried to climb out on the high part and got stuck and was so scared he was shaking.  I think I’d rather deal with the terror of him getting out of bed at night over the drama of him busting his lip or breaking a leg.  I went to Wally World to look for one of those doorknob covers (thanks, Kat!), but they were out, so I got a screamer alarm.  You put it on your door and when the seal of your door is broken, there is an alarm so loud a deaf person couldn’t sleep through it.  So that’s done, last night was his first night in the bed, and he did a pretty good job!  He was in and out about a dozen times before he stayed in an fell asleep, and when I would go in his room and make him get back into bed he went willingly, no crying or anything, he just didn’t stay there!  Once he was asleep he slept through the night, didn’t fall out of the bed, and when he woke up in the morning he came right into our room and got into bed just like every other day!  Success!  I figure about a week of my special, super-secret, never fails sleep training and we should be good to go.  Thanks to everyone who gave me suggestions, and no thanks at all to the people who laughed at me (Robin and Barb, I can hear you from here).

Sleep just went bye-bye.

This morning my alarm went off at 6 am, just like every other day.  I hit the snooze and went back to sleep, just like every other day.  Stephen poked his head over his crib rail so he could see into our bedroom and said, “Hello, Goose (that’s what he calls Steve).  Mama, out!”  JUST LIKE EVERY OTHER DAY.  Then he came walking into my bedroom.

WHAAAAA????

That’s right, friends and neighbors.  My son has learned how to climb out of his crib, and since he sometimes wakes up at 2 in the morning, he now has the freedom to let himself out and wander around the house.  Let’s add to the mix.  He can reach the deadbolt and doorknob now, and he knows how to use them.  Oh, good Lord.  It’s a perfect storm for my ass to wind up on nationwide news wearing a stupid Hello Kitty nightshirt crying that I didn’t hear him leave the house and I just want my son back while Nancy Grace posts pictures of him and talks about what a terrible mother I am!

Okay, deep breaths.  Count backwards from ten.  Calm down.

This is my revenge for having a baby that slept through the night since he was six weeks old, isn’t it?

Saving money, increasing stash.

When’s the last time you went thrifting?  I don’t mean Goodwill or Salvation Army thrifting, I mean a real thrift shop that sells all kinds of everything.  We have this really cool thrift shop in the Stanton/Newport area, and last night I decided to take a look at what they may have for fabrics.  The place is an old grocery store, so it’s huge, and I figured they might have something.  I was mostly looking for heavyweight material like curtains or tablecloths, but I also figured some cute cotton prints couldn’t hurt to add to my fabric stash.  So I walk in, grab a shopping cart, and pick out a video for Stephen.  They have kids’ videos for a dollar each, and we have a tv that plays videos and dvds in the bedroom, so I always get him one when I go there.  I start to look at tablecloths and I realize they have fabric here!  I mean bolts of fabric, folded and hanging next to the curtains!  Some were priced $2.98, some $3.98, some didn’t have price tags at all.  I picked out four that I really liked and figured I could do something with and checked out.  The guy running the cash register couldn’t find the prices for two of them, so he just gave them to me.  Find me a Goodwill or Salvation Army that can do that.  Nope, they can’t.  I walked out with four bolts of fabric, a Winnie-the-Pooh video, and a Thomas the Tank Engine t-shirt for $5.25.  Yup.

So, when was the last time you went thrifting?